Stories Vol 10: Markets and Lady Boys

Ok so I've done a lot… and I mean a lot of sitting around on beaches hanging out with strangers so far. I know you are all thinking is this kid ever going to start fucking traveling… well you'll be happy to know that after a week and a half of relaxation and beaching it up, I got a bit restless and booked a plane ticket to Chiang Mai in Northern Thailand.

 

What drew me to Chiang Mai was that every traveler from both back home and from here has mentioned how amazing the city was. Kara and Elisa had done jungle treks, cooking classes and city bike rides. Jeff and Luke from MN had explained that the city was a great place to just relax and get to know the Thai Culture. If you can't see where I'm going with this, everyone loves freaking Chiang Mai, a local described it as a bungee chord state where you try to leave and it just pulls you back in.

 

It was rather easy getting into the city. It only took 8 hours from when I left the island to when I landed in the Chiang Mai airport. Even arranging a taxi was simple. The city really is amazingly accessible. Unlike previous ventures, I wasn't stressed or uncomfortable. The process was straightforward.

 

 

When I got into Chiang Mai, I quickly shot an email to Sherry Wang to arrange details for meeting up when she would arrive the following day. After that, I told the hostel worker that I hadn't eaten and asked for recommendations on where to eat. They pointed out some locations on a map and I was on my way. With in 5 minutes of exiting the hostel I was lost. The map made no sense and I suddenly found myself wandering the night away. I walked aimlessly, passing closed restaurant after restaurant. Each time I saw a 7-11 or convenient store open I would go in and get a snack to hold me over until my late night dinner. After 6 convenient stores and two hours of walking, I gave up and wandered back to the hostel.

 

The next morning, I quickly shot off an email to friends, got on messenger to confirm that I could book an all day farm visit cooking class with Sherry and then set out to find the office of the cooking school. Unlike at night time, Chiang Mai is incredibly easy to navigate during the day. With each step I took, it became clearer all of the mistakes I had made getting to the hostel worker's suggested food area. I was actually kind of embarrassed how badly I had misread the map before.

 

 

After about an hour of weaving my way across the old city of Chiang Mai, I found the cooking school. It was rather quaint and felt like a mom and pop shop. The atmosphere of their office meets garden was chill and niche. It was kind of what I would imagine walking into a hippy commune would feel like. All of the workers were barefoot in flowing clothes. These were my people, I thought to myself. With smiles blazing, I asked to book a class and for some advice on what to do for the day. The office manager grabbed some tea and laid out a day and a half of things to do in Chiang Mai. He was fantastic.

 

On the way back to the hostel I went to each and everyone of his recommendations. I tried new foods outside of a beautiful Buddhist temple. I thought deeply over a quote from Siddhartha explaining the need for self torture to be enlightened. It was almost giving a nod to the idea that empathy is built through experiencing the different types of human emotion. This made me think back to my HR friend telling me that people who have faced different types of adversity make the best leaders as they can recognize what emotions people will go through because they've experienced a wide spectrum of them.

 

 

 

 

 

Upon returning to the hostel, I decided to check my messages from Sherry. Apparently she had gotten in early and was planning to go to the night market that started in an hour. After thirty minutes of work and additional chatting on Facebook we agreed to meet in 20 minutes outside a temple near by. As I was packing up my things, a tall slender guy and petite girl approached me and the guy I at my table. They asked if we'd like to go to the night market with them. Smiling at the coincidence, I told them I was on the way myself to meet a friend and that the 3 of them should join. Excited at having found new people to explore the city with, they quickly agreed.

 

On our way to meet Sherry, we did the hostel conversation tango. The spender guy explained that he was from upstate NY and was living in New Zealand on a youth working visa. He was 24, had regretfully studied business and was previously working as a snow board instructor. What I loved about him was how proud about it he was. It was clear that he had found his passion and the fact that he was doing it for a living was the best thing in the world. I was kind of jealous. I've never experienced a job where it was that perfect of a fit.

 

The girl was from DC in the states, and had just graduated from college in Cleveland. This fall she would be starting a gig as a consultant for Deloitte. I found her funny… in a good way. She was so quiet and reserved. Some one that definitely becomes more and more interesting with each passing interaction.

 

The third person, the guy sitting at my table, was Jack. He was from Alabama and was a quirky one. When I had met him that morning he shared that he had just graduated school with a degree in theater. I asked him if he was going to do acting for a living and then he went for the 180. He told me that he was actually really interested in designing an underwear line for men, specifically gay men. I was definitely not expecting this. Given his clothes and mannerisms, I pegged him more for the gamer type.

 

So there were the three of us, a Hodge podge of personalities, ages and backgrounds on our way to meet Sherry. In hind sight I probably should have been more specific, about where to meet her. She had said near where the monks in orange are bowing together. When we got there, they were bowing everywhere and sherry was no where to be found. After 10 minutes of waiting, I told the group lets give it 5 more minutes and then we would leave. As we leave the meeting location, out from a crowd emerges Sherry Wang smiling ear to ear.

 

I introduce the group and we are off through the market. Having watched it get set up earlier that day, I know how far it expands through out the city. Comprised of stall after stall of trinkets and food. After about 5 minutes walking we see a stall with deep fried sandwiches filled with crab. I'm in awe and have to try it. I take two bites and quickly offer up the rest to the group to try. This is a big thing for me when traveling, I love buying multiple meals to split with people but you need to establish the etiquette first right out of the gate.

The group takes the hint and subsequently orders a few other dishes. They take a bite and pass it around. Beautiful, absolutely beautiful. It's amazing how strangers quickly fall in line to the etiquette established by the first to try and set it. It's like when you go out to a business lunch or a first date, you always watch to see what the other person does and then you mirror it. If your smart while traveling with strangers you can use this to the groups advantage so that each person gets to maximize the number of drinks and dishes that they try.

 

Through out the 3 hours we are at the market we try stall after stall of yummy goodness. Some highlights are listed below:

• Deep Fried Crab filled Sandwiches
• Bacon Wrapped Mushrooms
• Fried Donuts
• Mango and Sticky Rice
• Marshmallow fluff topped almond wafers
• Dragon Fruit Smoothies
• Fried Noodles
• Fried Cheese Sticks

By the time we start to hit the end of the main road it starts to pour. In a quick second, we agree that we will join our other hostel neighbors at the Lady Boy Show in the night market. For those of you that do not know, Thailand has a large Transgender and cross dresser tourism industry. In multiple cities you will see these cabaret shows starring them. Having never seen one here, I suggested that we join the others.

 

So there we were, a group of 5 eclectic individuals squished into a tuk tuk headed to see the cabaret. When we get there, we find out that we are actually an hour early. We order drinks and shoot the shit sitting at the closest corner of the stage. The entire time, we glance around the bar watching it fill up with scores of other tourists. Each time a group enters a new "waitress" comes out to serve. At first glance you would assume these waitress were born female and then you see the signs that what is seen by the naked eye is not actually so.

 

An hour passes and the show begins. The costumes, the make up and the hair… it's all so beautiful. Unlike a strip show, these women on stage are proud of what they are doing. Their smiles seem genuine and they appear excited to share themselves with the crowd. At about 25 minutes into the show the curtains clothes and then reopen with one of the women sitting on a chair with lights dimmed low. Suddenly, "I Did It My Way" comes on the speakers. She stands up and begins to lip sing the lyrics. As it turns to the chorus line, she quickly pulls off her velvet arm length gloves. Then come the Breast pads.

 

As you listen to the lyrics pour from her as if she is confessing her coming out she is in the literal process of exposing the harsh reality of her condition. My mind flashes to my knowledge of the coming out process for transgender individuals in the states. Suddenly I see how empowered she is on stage, born a women in a males body, she is doing it her way. She is not ashamed of her male side or that she masks it with a façade that matches her true identity. I look at my new friends sitting at the table with me, each has an expression of awe. I don't think they expected her to be so beautiful and handsome in both forms. There was no judgment from them, just a perplexing wonderment.

 

 

Following the show we join some other youth hostel goers at a bar called Zoey's. It's great people watching, a mixture of Thai Prostitutes and foreign travelers dancing to pop music from the early 2000s. As I look at our group I start to laugh, in most contexts outside of travel this group would have never formed. The personalities are too different but in some random twist of fate their we sat.