"Jelly
Bean….JELLLLLY BEEEEEAN!" A girl's voice calls out. Shrieking to a point
of sorority girl level during a recruitment function.
"Jelly! Where
are you, Jelly Bean!"
Rather than move
from my spot at a hostel table to avoid the ruckus these new girls entering the
hostel were making, I decided to stay at my table and write. I was in the
process of document all of my thoughts on the current day's morning and
afternoon with New at the Cooking School. Afraid that if I got up, I would lose
my train of thought and so I focused my attention to my Surface Pro 2 perched
up on the table and dove deeper into my thoughts.
 |
| Chiang Mai Hostel Lobby, view from where I was writing front desk is to my right |
With a sudden clash,
I see a bag drop aggressively to the ground 3 Ft to my left. Almost
simultaneously, I hear the sound of two girls shrieking in excitement. A white
blob begins bouncing towards me from where the bag dropped, I no longer could
ignore my surroundings. Quickly sharpening my focus away from my computer, I
see the two girls, having only enough time to open my arms for a hug.
In that split
second, I realized that the white blob was Vanessa, the shoe designer I met in
Bangkok and the other girl was Fleur, the ski instructor.
Bouncing in
excitement, I embrace Vanessa and we wobble back and forth doing the friend hug
you do when you haven't seen someone for ages.
"What the
fuck!" I hear in a British accent. "We had no idea you were going to
be here."
"Wait! Aren't
you supposed to be in Southern Thailand or something?" I ask the girls.
"Meh, things
changed and we might go to Malaysia now." Vanessa chimes in.
What I'm starting to
love about SE Asia is that there are only so many hostels that you can stay at
and so after enough travel, you start running into the same extended travelers
again and again. This was a surprise occurrence. While we had planned to meet
up in Cambodia in July, I did not expect to see them until then.
After the brief
catchup, they checked in and shuffled there bags up to their room. Upon coming
back down Fleur, in her I don't give a fuck tone, says to me, "Yo, Dude!
I'm hungry, want to grab some Smoothies at Jane's?" Not sure what she's
talking about but agree never the less; a smoothie always sounds good.
The two explain on
the walk that they found this place while staying in Chiang Mai the first time.
It's a quaint little café that is cohabitated by a textile designer. The mix of
studio meets restaurant creates a unique ambiance. As we sit there waiting for
the smoothies, I learn that it is owned by two Thai sisters, one of which grew
up and studied in the states. The food options are all organic and farm fresh.
We sat there for
probably a good two hours just relaxing and catching up. Vanessa recounted tails
of going to Pai and visiting the Tiger Zoo which lead to a discussion about
ethical tourism. The Tiger Zoo is a place where you can take pictures with a
full grown adult tiger. The pamphlets advertising such an experience all note
that they do not drug the Tigers, however, to many…. Myself and Fleur
included, this makes absolutely no sense. There is no way you could get that
close with out getting hurt if they weren't drugs. Tigers are not docile
creatures. It's unfortunate but Thailand Tourism is riddled with exploitation
and abuse. As a tourist it is very easy to get mislead into something that
makes you uncomfortable. Even so called elephant sanctuaries can be unethically
done, used as a way to get money from tourists.
The conversation
after a while changed to a more light hearted one. The girls detail out the
guys they've met, noting that nothing happened, but that it was entertaining.
They ask whether I have had any luck and I explained how I got hit on by a
handsome French Scuba Instructor while in Phi Phi. I told them how I wasn't
really interested, my thoughts still back on home. Hitting a note with Vanessa,
we did the relationship conversation dance and begin a brief conversation that
is quickly transitioned off.
Fleur out of no
where chimes in, " I have the funniest story for you."
"Fleur,
No!" I hear Vanessa kicks in.
"Ok, you have
to tell me now. This is clearly good."
I state; shooting a puppy dog face at Vanessa in the process.
"Fine, go
ahead." She answers back.
With that Fleur
begins telling the story. Apparently around the time they got back from Pai
into Chiang Mai, they were both well let's say a bit "Stuffed up." The food just wasn't
agreeing with them and it had been a few days since they'd had some relief.
They were at the point of actual pain. To the point that they almost went to
the pharmacy for actual medication.
At this Fleur
starts laughing, she can't control it. She tries to but does not succeed. She
can barely speak anything and continues to stumble through each word, giggling
to a point of heaving and tears.
"Well fuck,
your ruining it." Vanessa shouts out, disappointed that her friend can't
control her giggles.
"Ok so we had
not gone for 3 days. I was concerned and made plans to go to the pharmacy to
get a laxative once we got checked into the hostel. When we got there though,
all of a sudden it hit me. We had just checked into a 4 person ensuite dorm
room and it hit me. I went into the room, saw two back packs clearly belonging
to guys and booked it for the bathroom."
At this point in the story she turns bright red.
"Morgan, I took the biggest dump of my life." Suddenly Fleur shouts
out…." SHE BROKE THE TOILET. Her shit was so massive it broke the
toilet."
"NO. No that
did not happen." I shake my head, laughing in disbelief.
"But that's not
even the best part." Fleur answers back.
The girls go on to
explain that rather than admit it to the hostel, Vanessa decided that she would
let it sit for awhile until it disintegrated a bit in the water. While they
were out, the guys came back and had found the broken toilet with Vanessa's
present still in the bowl. They decide to go back downstairs and wait for their
new roommates to return.
Upon getting back,
the girls meet the two guys. One chiming in "I think the toilets
broken." Fleur wastes 0 time chiming in that it was Vanessa and she
reluctantly notifies the front desk. When the service worker gets to the room,
the two guys and Fleur point to the bathroom and then to Vanessa. She was
caught and shamed all at once.
Finishing our
shakes, we get up and decide to regroup for dinner. I tell them, I was down for
checking out a new place but had agreed to meet up with Tom, Sherry and Becky
from the previous night. The night quickly unfolds to a dinner in which Fleur
and Tom have a 45 minute conversation about powder and how they are addicted to
it. And no, I'm not talking about cocaine. Fleur is a ski instructor and Tom
is a snow board instructor. It was seriously like watching two computer
programmers geek out about LINUX. By the time our bill comes both are
apologizing for the detailed out conversation about this hill versus that hill.
What they failed to
realize is that everyone was so exhausted that they actually in a weird way
appreciated the change of pace.
After dinner, we
stop at a 7-11 and grab some drinks to chill with at the hostel and the night
rages on like any other night while traveling. Dancing, shenanigans and a run
to street carts to fill our drunken bellies. Some highlights of the night are
listed below:
- Dancing to baby got back outside a bar with Vanessa in the middle of the rain
- A group run to Tacos Bell…a Mexican themed street cart
- Walking a mile in the rain to the bars
- A drunk British bloke proclaiming his massive endowment in the middle of the street
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